Do you feel and think that you are looking for love, wanting love or needing love? Have you ever felt there was a gaping hole in your heart and you are searching for that someone or something to fill that void? This conversation we had was all about this…
Michelle : Come to think of it another reason for me not getting attached to any stuffed toy is because I had this feeling that nothing in this world was permanent. I felt I shouldn’t be attached to anything or anyone.
Daisy: Why use the word shouldn’t?
Michelle: ummm… shouldn’t because… ahhhh… it’s just a feeling…
Daisy: Feelings reveal truth remember? Go ahead…
Michelle: But I found myself wanting…needing rather than being attached to people. Another paradox of myself, I guess.
Daisy: You found it useless to be attached because of the concept of impermanence.
Michelle: Useless? ummm… yeah, maybe pointless. I think I was confused. I knew I shouldn’t get attached (which was easier to do with things) but I got attached to the need of wanting people in my life… to be loved and well it was hard.
Daisy: Okay, let’s explore that feeling.
Michelle: The thing that comes to my mind and heart is the fear that when they leave, I might not know how to take it. I get scared when I’m vulnerable.
Daisy: Okay good — you don’t want to get attached because you’re scared of how you’d react.
Michelle: Yes I felt that.
Daisy:Why? What do you think will happen to you?
Michelle: When I was still a little girl I remember the many times I felt this huge hole in my heart and then would soon find myself crying. This happens when I felt I needed somebody to love me — I ached inside and that scared me.
Daisy: Hmmm… that need for love was great that it hurt, huh?
Michelle: Right. You could just imagine how I felt when these people I thought could fill this need had to leave. The hole was bigger and deeper and that caused the lonely feeling.
Daisy: Yes, I’m familiar with the feeling. I felt the same thing when friends had to leave when they graduated from school.
Michelle: … and so to protect yourself from hurt, I swore never to be attached again. Unfortunately the need to be loved grew worse. I found myself seeking all the time — seeking and seeking and seeking ….
Daisy:…for that one person who could fill all that need?
Michelle: hahaha if you asked that 3 years ago I would probably say “yes” but now I would have to say “no.” I was seeking and seeking until I found myself.
Daisy: Ahhhh, that’s great! We can then say that the need to be loved is filled when one finds love in himself! That thing that could fill our need for love was never out there but inside each of us.
Michelle: Yes. I have discovered that I need to find love in myself for me to be whole…it is the only way.
Daisy: I guess we are both learning that–being whole on our own. Loving the self more each day and accepting the self without judgment, without fear, without condemnation. All that you wish for others—-give first to yourself and that love will extend more to those around you.
Michelle: Yes, accepting ourselves for who we are (with all our strengths and weaknesses) is part of loving ourselves. I’m grateful too that I am learning to love myself more and more…and I find myself accepting people more and more too.
Daisy: Okay that’s a good ending to this extensive exploration.
Michelle: Hahaha…But after all of this, I find that I am still not attached to things.
Daisy: By things you mean, material things? Oh I see….hahahaha well, that my friend is another story to tell…
The need for love and wanting love and yearning for love is a common experience for many of us. I guess the important path to loving is the path that gently leads back to yourself. And then you go and share that love to others. May joy be with you as you know what love and abundance is in your life.
By: Michelle Simtoco and Daisy Ba-ad
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I was very curious as to what the answers to the questions were going to be. Not surprisingly, they made me think of what my answers would be. Thank-you for that!
Blessings,
Shirley
P.S. Have given you a Stumble Upon review.
First of all I want to thank all your kind comments on my blogs.
And now I want to congratulate you both for such lovely blog and also for the site which it´s also very interesting.
While reading this post I felt like I was listening to both of you and I almost start talking and responding to your thoughts. Some times I think I´m a bit egoist because I always felt well with myself and I guess I always loved me, at least since the moment I get to know myself. I´m not a material person too, I never get attached to things.
And thanks to you and some other friends I found out that it´s possible to love people who live far away from me and that made me start giving more attention to those who are close to me and I also learned to never feel lonely or sad for not being close to all my friends – they are always on my heart
All the best,
Ricardo
Hi guy`s Girls, kids LOL
Love what you both said…funny I was late 30`s early 40`s when i finaly fell in love with myself…I dont blame anyone for how I grew up ..after all we can`t pick our parents..but I believe everything happens for a reason so that we can help and encourage others…love to you both Mike:):):):-0)
Hi Shirley,
We’re both smiling at your comment. Actually, we do talk like this… it sounds like we are having counseling and therapy sessions huh? Hahahaha Anyhow, that was why we decided to post our conversations. LOL You are more than welcome to join the sharings.
Warm regards
Ricardo, it is a joy to know someone who is at ease with the self–the love for the self. That is something to celebrate.
And friendships too.
Mike, the age doesn’t matter. LOL We like that idea “letting go of the blame.” Blame is a major block to being free. Yes, everything happens for a reason and people are brought into our midst for a purpose too. Thank you for being here.
Love and light to you Shirley, Ricardo and Mike!
Michelle, Daisy: This is awesome, your sharing your interview, its a format where we can learn by listening. I can’t believe the topic you are jabbering about; its been my issue, my sadness to feel the impermanence of life, especailly after the passing of my 18 year old nephew; its been a focus for me to understand, to accept, and transcend this by getting to Truth, and here you are talking about this!
Self love is not egoistical, its not about feeling superior to others, but about being in gratitude for the magnificience of God’s creations, and each one of us is one. What we do with this magnificient creation is up to us. Just thinking out loud, in case you attract a reader who may have this passing thought.
Hugs and light to you both,
Marie
Marie, I just got home when Daisy YM me that you have a comment here. I find myself always excited to read what you have to say. Thank you for being honest with what you are feeling. I have felt this “sadness”; “emptiness”; “loneliness” so many years ago. And I so I rejoice with Daisy that we have grown slowly in this aspect. We have grown!!! Woohoo!
I like your definition and perspective about self love. Muchos gracias for the wonderful sharing and your presence is always appreciated.
Hugs and light back at you…
Michelle