There are words spoken that can either make you feel absolutely good or downright bad. I don’t know about you but if I have to choose, I’ll choose loving words that make me feel remarkably good anytime! But I hear you say, “Of course, we want loving words, who doesn’t?” Hey, I’m glad we’re in total agreement here. So if we want loving words to be part of our lives, be ready for the big question.
Drumroll please! Tell me… “What are the loving words that comes out of your mouth?” Tell me some more. “How many times have you uttered these words to yourself, to your spouse, to your co-workers, to your kids, to your clients, to your family, to your boss?”
While you try to recall what are the positive and loving words that you’ve ever uttered in your life, let me share with you several stories. (Names have been changed to protect privacy)
Three year old Kathy would suddenly snarl if you touch her ever so slightly. Her favorite hideaway was the stairs leading to the comfort room. She would sit there with a morose look. When you try to talk to her, she would blurt out, “I don’t like me! I don’t like me!” Prying into the details of her life, I discovered that the words “you are ugly” were often told to her. The teachers bombarded her with praises and encouragement even if she rejected them most of the time. She was told over and over again, “Kathy, you are beautiful.” Her work was praised. “This is a wonderful drawing you made.” And when she did the right thing, “Very good for keeping your toys.” Several months later when the kids had their annual Christmas party, Kathy passed by our office and saw me when she suddenly said, “Teacher Michelle you look nice.” The biggest smile stole my heart and I was gripped with such a strong emotion. She had been transformed. This little girl who didn’t like herself was now exhibiting the results of loving words – calm, confident and no longer angry with the world.
In a serious conversation with six year old Bryan, who was shouting and not asking what he wanted properly, I told him that the consequence for this action was not being able to watch his favorite show on t.v. Bryan was somewhat spoiled by his mother and would often give in to his demands. He stared at me defiantly but since he was living in our house for a few weeks he had to follow our rules. A few hours later, I heard him ask his nanny (politely this time) if he could play after reading some books. Immediately right after their session, I called him over. “Bryan, I noticed that you talked to your nanny politely. You know what, I am proud of you!” Bryan became teary eyed and hugged me tight. “I am proud of you!” I repeated again becoming teary eyed myself at the power of loving words.
Loving words are indeed powerful. Kids need them even adults too. Here are some samples of loving words that we need to say daily to ourselves and to the people around us.
You are beautiful
You are special
You are remarkable
You are wonderful
You have a good heart
You did a great job
You look good
I am proud of you
I am grateful for you
I like you
I appreciate you
I love you
Say loving words to yourself daily. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am special. I am beautiful. I am wonderful. I feel good and I look good! I am proud of you.” Start feeling better by saying loving words to yourself.
Use loving words with sincerity and love. When you tell your kids or your spouse “I love you or I am proud of you” with so much love and sincerity in your heart, it can lead to a transformation that you can never believe possible. It can heal wounds and hurts. It can help them believe in themselves. And they will feel really good because somebody who knows them really loves them and is proud of them. Keep on using those loving words to those whom you come in contact with or whom you work with. They need it too.
Use loving words including the little and big details. Notice how your child has used polite words like “please” or how he has refrained from hitting his friend when he couldn’t get his toy. Or how many check marks she has in the test instead of noticing the one mark made wrong. Notice how your wife put an effort to cook for you or clean the house or simply how beautiful her new haircut is. Be observant. Be specific when you tell them loving words. “You did a great job preparing our meal.” Or “You were wonderful with the kids. Thank you for helping me with the chores.”
Loving words spoken daily will have tremendous effects because it simply magnifies the goodness that we all have within. By focusing on the positive things in a person and in the events or circumstances, we begin to draw into our lives more beautiful, loving and wonderful things. The abundance of love is revealed. Use loving words daily and it will change your life.