Loving Abundance

How did voice work become my self esteem help? There we were around thirty kids standing in the risers looking at our music teacher seated at the piano. We were singing the song “Tomorrow” from the musical play, Annie. After a couple of rounds, she suddenly stood up and announced to the class. She wanted some students to sing solo.

My teacher looked at us intently. Suddenly, she pointed her finger at me and said, “You will sing solo.” I gulped.

Me? I blinked. I blinked again. She was still looking at me. Then she broke eye contact and continued to call on several others. For the life of me, I could no longer remember how I sang that song. But I could still remember my heart that was beating so fast and the butterflies that were fluttering like crazy in my stomach.

Today, I discovered I still carry within me that astonished feeling of being picked from amongst the group. “How come she chose me?” I wondered. I was a shy and gawky fourth grader. I think I was more in shock that someone would actually think I could sing!

I believe that within each person carries a voice that cries out to be heard. We all yearn to speak our truth, our love, our innermost thoughts and feelings and speak of the dreams that we long to come true. We yearn to speak of our ideals, our highest and grandest version of ourselves and the world that we live in. This “voice work” was working on my self esteem.

I remember as a child, I kept things to myself because I was fearful of speaking my truth. When I faced negative reactions, I started to withdraw and spoke less and less. Also, sometimes when the people around us (with the sincere intention of wanting what is good for us) unconsciously wants to “impose” their truth upon us, we become confused. Confusion leads to doubt. And doubt coupled with fear of being odd and different continues to stifle the voice within. And thus, my truth lay in slumber for a long time.

I confess there were moments when I felt the restlessness of the soul; and it softly beckoned to me, whispering that it longs to come out. It wanted to soar and fly free. But I was getting adept at telling it to be quiet.

Well, the yearning grew. And the soul’s desire cannot be stopped. Then along came the discovery….music came into my life. In singing, I discovered the beautiful way of expressing myself. I could sing and speak of my truth, this time without fear.

After college, I landed in a group where I became part of the music ministry. I had found a bit of heaven on this earth. Through singing I was able to express many things within me. I cried with the songs, danced and rejoiced with them. But most of all, I discovered the joy of being able to sing about God and His love.

This was the start of the discovery of the voice within me. This was the first step in my journey of being able to express my truth. I had found my voice through music. And my spirit had started to fly. I was on my way to being free. My voice work has become my self esteem help.

By:  Michelle Simtoco